How to Care for Your Seishi
by Lady Oni
Summary: Chichiri decides to write care guides for the seishi and miko, without asking them.
1. Seishi Crossdressers

AN: Konichi wa! I was at my dad's house where I don't have any of my other stories (((_-' So I got the idea from Ouzumi's Stargate fanfics. (Thank you so much again) Which are highly recommended if you're a fan of Stargate SG-1 

Disclaimer: No Suzaku doesn't love me enough to let me own Fushigi Yuugi, Chichiri, or Nuriko. (Then again neither does Yu Watse) I know, I know, how can they not love me? ((^,~) 

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Chichiri sat on one of the huge rocks that bordered the imperial garden's lake and relaxed. He set his pole aside then took out one of the writing devises Miaka called a pen, and a notebook she had given him when he'd mentioned he was going to write something. Hmmm . . . how to start it out . . . Well the title first 

How to Care for Your Seishi Crossdresser

_By: Chichiri_

Seishi Crossdresser, AKA: Nuriko, Ryuunen, Kourin, Kang-lin.

Taking care of a seishi crossdresser can be very difficult, especially since they are easily angered. Your seishi crossdresser will have a very nice and caring personality most of the time . . . 

" Konichi wa Chiri-chan!" Nuriko ran up to him, " What are you doing?" 

" Nothing Nuri-kun no da," He smiled hoping the man wouldn't inquire any further. 

_. . .however as I said before, they are easily angered. It in not an intelligent move to anger your crossdresser for they also display incredible strength and are often unafraid to use it when enraged . . ._

Nuriko sat down next to his fellow seishi and stared out over the calm water of the lake a small smile playing across his lips. 

_. . . Yes I know what you're thinking, 'this person displaying that kind of strength?' but do not be fooled by looks for there is much more power in those arms than you can imagine. More than you wish to find out. . . _

The violet haired man turned a look on the monk, " What's that you've got?" he questioned innocently. 

" This," he held up the utensil, " is called a pen no da. It's a writing instrument from Miaka's world." 

" And that?" he pointed to the notebook. 

" A notebook, it's like a bunch of scrolls unrolled and put together no da." 

_. . . He will also posses a almost child-like sense of curiosity, and will question any object unfamiliar to them . . ._

" So what are you writing?" 

" Nothing no da." 

"Mhum, that's why you're drawing that . . . pen . . .across that . . . notebook," he cocked an eyebrow. 

_ . . . and the activities of others. For there is nothing a seishi crossdresser loves more (short of punching tactless bandits into walls) than gossip. Though this should be highly discouraged it is unlikely that you will succeed in curbing this . . ._

" All come on! Let me see!" asked Nuriko as he leaned over to read what Chichiri writing. The older seishi merely turned away. 

_. . . Seishi Crossdressers are determined once they decide to do something they don't give up until it's done. This philosophy carries over to their love life as well as they will continue to chase after some one they love even when they know they have no chance . . ._

"Chiri-chan! Why are you so determined not to let me see?" 

_. . . They are very observant and have a deep understanding of people and their emotions. They will often be the first to pick up on a budding romance . . ._

"What, it's not like you're writing about me or something?" 

" . . ." 

" You are writing about me!" 

_. . . and anything eles someone may attempt to hide. Do not be surprised if your crossdresser decides to play matchmaker or to 'make things better' . . ._

Nuriko suddenly made a lunge for the notebook, however the mage had expected that and without looking up, simply teleported to one of the higher branches in the closest tree. 

_. . . They truly enjoy this so it's best to just let be, and not get tangled in the mess that will eventually result . . ._

" If you want to be so secretive, and write things about other people that's fine with me!" He growled as he stormed off. For the first time Chichiri looked up following the retreating figure with his eye. Once the frustrated crossdresser was out of sight the seishi returned to his writing. 

_. . . Your crossdresser is very cunning sometimes and will often use this in the afore mentioned endeavors or to collect gossip. You must keep a close eye on them to be sure they are not plotting something. However even the closest watch can not always be sure to catch every plot . . ._

"CHI-CHI-RI!" 

"Da?" The suddenly chibi monk turned around to see a certain very annoyed violet haired seishi. He sweatdropped, " You read it no da?" 

"Hai," He began to crack his knuckles an evil smile playing across his face. 

" DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Chichiri lept down from the tree and took off running one very angry Seishi Crossdresser in pursuit. While running he managed to write one last sentence. 

_. . . I repeat it is not intelligent to anger your seishi crossdresser._


	2. Seishi Bandits

AN: Thank you so much! I love all my reviewers! You guys are great! Also thank you so much Sister of Darkness for your ideas! Everyone give her a round of applause! (((_^ Now for the next installment! 

Warnings: um . . . .bad grammar/spelling . . . Oh and banditness, but for the rating I'll censor it. 

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. 

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Chichiri was sitting back in the same place with his pen and notebook again. He'd spent an hour yesterday attempting to escape from Nuriko however in the end it'd been futile and he'd had to make a visit to Mitsukake. The silent healer had been surprised by the monk's visit considering either Tamahome or Tasuki (and sometimes both) had been the ones to need his assistance nearly every day. Now that he was healed and alone (he scanned the area to be sure) the mage decided to start part two. 

_

How to Care For Your Seishi Bandit

_

By: Chichiri

Seishi Bandit AKA: Kou Sun'u, Genrou, Tasuki, Fang-boy, bandit-boy, baka, and insensitive pumpkin

_Seishi Bandits are arguably the most difficult seishi to take care of (some say it's the crossdresser) Your Seishi Bandit will have an even shorter temper than your crossdresser (see part 1) and be even more violent . . ._

"Oi Chiri!" Tasuki ran over, " 'av ya seen obeca-chan? I'm going to fry him!" 

"He and Nuriko went somewhere no da." 

_. . . They will enjoy "frying" innocent and not so innocent people with their prize weapon, their tessen. TheTessen is the basic halisen made of iron (and now unfortunately diamond) which has been enchanted to spew fire upon will . . ._

"Damn and I really wanted to fry his a**," sighed Tasuki plopping down next to his friend, "So whatcha' got there?" 

"Nothing no da." 

_. . . Like your crossdresser, your bandit will have a sense of curiosity . . ._

" Oh, k" 

_. . . That is thankfully much more easily appeased . . ._

"Ya've got yer nose in scrolls far too often," stated the redhead jumping to his feet, " Ya need ta' relax!" 

_. . . He is quite lazy, and will apply his work ethic to everyone. Deciding to help you "relax" when he believes you have been working too hard . . ._

The bandit paused thinking for a moment, " I know, come on let's get some Sake!" the monk sighed as he was dragged off. 

_. . .This often includes liquor . . ._

Chichiri found himself sitting in the corner of a noisy tavern watching as Tasuki ordered his sake. 

_. . . Allowing your seishi bandit sake is just asking for trouble. If at all possible I recommend you to avoid this substance . . ._

"Here ya go Chiri!" he announced proudly setting a full sake bowl and the jug infront of the monk taking the other for himself. He gave a toast before tippind his head back to drink. Suddenly the bowl was snatched from his hand. 

_. . . For once your bandit has found some it is too late to stop him . . ._

"Fang-boy you don't need this!" smiled Tamahome as he downed the drink himself. 

" Why you!" growled Tasuki. 

_. . . Attempting to stop him at all should only be done by the most stout of heart . . ._

The redhead decided to grab the other bowl, which was also quickly snatched and downed by another. "Arigattou Tas-chan! It was sweet of you to pour me a drink," smiled Nuriko. 

_. . . Though even then it is often a lost cause . . ._

Tasuki then reached for the jug, which Tamahome plucked from his grasp. Giving the bandit a goofy smile he poured both him and Nuriko another glass. 

_. . . Such action in general will certainly lead to a brawl . . ._

Yelling a war cry the redhead launched himself at the con man. The two began to fight. 

_. . . Which will surely be initiated by your seishi bandit . . ._

Chichiri sighed tilting his head just slightly as a sake bowl flew past and shattered against the wall behind him. 

_. . . This will likely grow to involve many other patrons of whatever location you are at, at the moment . . ._

Nuriko sat down sipping his drink, " What are you writing?" 

Chichiri was about to reply nothing, but instead gave up and allowed the crossdresser to read over his shoulder. 

_. . . Even with all of this said your bandit will be a real softy on the inside . . ._

Chichiri took the notebook into his lap as a flying Tamahome (thrown by Tasuki) crashed into their table. 

_ . . . Though sometimes that may be hard to believe . . ._

A bruised and battered Tasuki proudly stood up brandishing a sake jug and bowl, "Ha! Obeka-chan couldn't keep it from me!" 

Chichiri surveyed the damage, over half the furniture in the tavern was crushed, multiple patrons lay about bruised and beaten, and an unconscious Suzaku seishi lay on what remained of his table. 

_. . . I repeat, "Allowing your seishi bandit sake is just asking for trouble."_

"Let me see," demanded Nuriko. 

Chichiri handed him the notebook and went up to pay the tavern owner for the damages. On his way back to the table he numbly registered the violet haired seishi's singsong voice. 

" Tas-chan you really should read this!" 

It took the monk a moment to fully comprehend the implications of those words. His eye went wide with realization and only milliseconds later he heard the bandit's gruff voice . . . 

" A SOFTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


End file.
